"The Water is Wide"
October 8th, 2022
Hi friends. I'm writing because I'm frustrated. I try not to be, but it's sorta unavoidable so I reckon I'll write why here so it can live here and not be bottled up to where I eventually scream at a baby or something. I think it's just that I feel like I can't depend on anyone in my life. People just come and go as they please. Generally, when they want something. Does that say more about me or the people I surround myself with. When I have these thoughts, I often wonder if I am some horrible person, but I don't think I am. I don't feel like one, anyway. I try to be the best person I can possibly be. I guess it's who I surround myself with. It's hard to find people who want to better themselves, maybe. It's hard to admit you've got character flaws. I try to and often fail to change them, but I try. Every day I try to wake up and be happy, but sometimes I fail. What more can you ask from someone? Is it the walls I put up that prevent me from keeping friends? I desperately want to break them down, you know? I need to talk to someone about this before it drives me into a hole.