"St. Joseph's"

May 5th, 2022

Hi. I've been reading a lot of manga recently. I read one called Discommunication that I quite liked. I'd like to get in a relationship. I loved a girl, I love a girl actually. But I don't think she loves me back. Someone got onto me the other day and told me, "She needs to make time for you or she's no good." But I don't think she's no good. Maybe that's my problem. It just feels different. I don't know if I'm compatible with people, sometimes. Sometimes, it's like I'm a dinosaur. The last of my kind. I don't know if that's egotistical, but I often wonder about it. I haven't been going out with people much as of late. Not a lot of people to go out with anyway. It's easy to take these feelings and turn them into not-great thoughts, so I'm gonna try not to. "I'm better now," I say. I hope it's the truth.

I'm reading the note she wrote me last year around this time. I haven't read it in a long time. I remember when I first read it I couldn't sleep for weeks. I'd just cry. I didn't even know why I was crying, I still don't. I'm crying now reading it. I hope those feelings are still there. I hope I'm not alone.