"The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore"

April 29th, 2022

Hi gang, it's been a busy week or two. I finally got a job at JC Penneys, it's just folding clothes and stuff. Super easy. I was planning to move to Nashville this May, but it's been indefinately pushed back. Nerves are a powerful thing. I met a guy I knew years ago today at work. Probably hadn't seen him since mid to late 2020? He said I looked bigger. I was much younger then, but I was also really thin back then too. I was at one of the worst points in my life back then. Obviously, I don't want to give details, but I was really sick and actually nearly died. Certainly a time. Even mental stuff takes a toll on your physical health, I suppose. I was barely eating and barely sleeping. A friend of mine posted a thing on special fish about being sad enough to make art and then being too sad to make art. I was the latter for sure. I had stretched myself so thin I was on the verge of tearing in two. I don't know why, either. I'm a lot better now, though. I still struggle sometimes, but it's become so much easier to be happy or at least not sad. Sometimes I wonder whether I should be happy or not. My life is a lot lonelier than it's ever been. I knew so many people back then. Now it often feels like it's just me and the world.

A younger version of myself could have never imagined the success I've had, either. I have people who really want to meet me in Ohio in May, for example. That's just bizarre to me. I suppose that's just because they project their problems onto me. They think, "This guy's music helped me, so he must be like me," and to an extent, they're right. But, I am also my own person and that is often very hard for people to believe. Seperating the art from the artist, just in a different way. I love what I do, it's just significantly more complicated than I ever imagined it would be.

As for the site, I'm planning another major overhaul soon-ish. I'm gonna transfer over all the content, though. Just new stylesheets etc. I intended whitty.cc to be able to grow with me, but I didn't know what I didn't know. Plus, I really love making sites. Hopefully gonna make this one more night-themed. Still a work in progress, though. By the way, nearly 15k views on this site! That's nuts. 5000 of those have been in the last few weeks, I think. To the people who have contacted me to say hello and/or signed the guestbook: Thank you!! It's a really nice bit of validation I didn't know I wanted.

Your Pal,

Syd Whitty